It is true. As the year closes people tend to reflect more on the year that has gone and are now in the mindset of preparing for another year. Most aim for hope, hope that the coming year will be better than the previous year. I personally have the habit of reflecting before a year ends. As I look at my small planner (yes, guys as much as you don’t want to believe, I do have a planner, I call it a Palm planner because it is small enough to fit in your palm) I am amazed at how God moved in this previous year. The places that I never thought I will go to, the people I’ve met, opportunities that came, talents/gifts that were developed, character improved and my relationship with God that I can say got deeper.

I am so thankful for all the blessings (and indeed He has blessed me and my family abundantly, again in ways that I never thought is possible),  but as I look eagerly at my planner I also saw the  times were things are not going well at all.

Most people record only the sweet things, and I respect them, but I also note the times where I question God, cry out to Him and at times even voice out my doubts.

Trials. Suffering. Pain.

Bible says:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

– Philippians 4:5 (NIV)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

– James 1:2-4 (NIV)

Are you crazy?Pure joy in sufferings? Trials?

Really, to be honest this is not easy to do. It goes against every bit of nature’s law in my body to rejoice in trials! In sufferings! To be happy in sufferings is a paradox in itself because happiness is dependent on positive circumstances. To abound in joy in the midst of pain is downright at that time: impossible.

Yet in retrospect, as I look at my planner months after trials were breakthroughs, in between the trials is where I got the most powerful revelations from God, after storms in life were the times were I can say it made me stronger. These were the times where I was looking at the bible as my only comfort, where prayer is a gold in a puddle of mud, where you are forced to be brutally honest to God about how you feel, where worship means everything, fellowship with other believers made sense, grace means everything and the cross is alive and where you are silenced.

Looking at a planner in retrospect gives me an opportunity to have a bird’s eye view of the things that happened in a way that God sees it. I am amazed at his sovereignty on how despite of the pleas and cries and complaints I uttered he slowly but surely changed my heart. He listened to me, comforted me and even strengthened me.

During those dark times you are not at all thankful for the pains, trials, sufferings you faced. But in retrospect it lead you exactly where your heart and soul really wants to be in. Not the problems, or the situation itself, but at the foot of Christ, in humility, worship and dependence. This is where you really want to be in. At the presence of God, in His dwelling place.

This is where you are undone.

Where he painfully strips the things that dishonors him, where he reveals sins you thought you never had or thought you had gotten over with, and shows you who you really are. Times where the revelation of His nature is the most important thing in the universe.

Yes, by these premises you can be full of joy. At the bottom of the pit is the gold that you are looking for.

At the feet of Jesus in surrender, daily surrender in good times or bad times is the place where you will find the joy the scriptures tell of, the love, the grace, the power of the cross.

I recently listened to a song from the album ” Are you Listening” the Christmas album from Coffee bean and Tealeaf coffee shop. (I am not endorsing). Though I may not agree to some of the lyrics (because I believe that we have a big part in our own sufferings from the choices we made), but the whole thought of the song is whether it is your fault or it is God’s way of testing you, whether in your deepest pit of sin or trials there is nowhere, absolutely nowhere can God’s love and grace not reach you.

Here are the lyrics and a link at Youtube.

Words, Music & Performance by Jay Enrile
From the album “Are You Listening?”
THANK YOU FOR EMPTINESS, THANK YOU FOR RAGE
THANKS FOR CONFUSION AND THE LABYRINTH IT’S MADE
THANKS FOR DENIAL, THANK YOU FOR LUST
THANKS FOR REJECTION AND ALL THE HURTS FROM THOSE I TRUST

THANK YOU THAT I HAVEN’T HEARD THE SWEETEST SOUND
‘COZ I KNOW IT’S THE ONLY WAY MY KNEES WILL SCRAPE THE GROUND

THANKS FOR DEPRESSION AND NOT WANTING TO LIVE
THANKS FOR THE NIGHTS WHEN I HAD NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE
THANKS FOR ALLOWING MY WORLD TO CAVE IN
I HAD A LIFE WITHOUT YOU THAT WAS COLORED WITH SIN

THANK YOU THAT I HAVEN’T HEARD THE SWEETEST SOUND
‘COZ I KNOW IT’S THE ONLY WAY MY KNEES WILL SCRAPE THE GROUND

NOW I KNOW THAT YOU BROUGHT ME TO A DARK AND DIRTY PLACE
JUST TO FIND THAT MY TREASURE IS HIDDEN IN YOUR GRACE

AND IT’S CLEAR THAT HEREAFTER I WON’T HAVE TO LIVE MY DAYS APART FROM YOU, APART FROM TRUTH
I FOUND MY RIGHTFUL PLACE IN YOUR ARMS, BEAUTIFUL
AT HOME IN YOUR EMBRACE

FINALLY I’M CAPTURED BY THE LOVE THAT DOESN’T FADE
THE FIRE IN YOUR EYES IS WHY MY HEART IS UP IN FLAMES

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35, 37-39 (NIV)

Yes Lord, truly I am thankful for the sufferings, pain and trials.

More to come in 2011! hehehehe