When we think of the different expressions of love we usually think of flowery words, sweet punch lines, sentimental gifts, spending extravagant gifts, spending precious time with the person you love, serving your loved ones, hugs, kisses and other physical intimacies. But as I grew up I came to appreciate an expression of love that I initially hated and sometimes avoided and that is: DISCIPLINE. Some of us don’t love that at all!

The generation today is in a constant search for pleasure and happiness and is repulsive to any feelings of unpleasantness. I am regularly dealing with young people who grew up in a time when they have either a passive dad, a dysfunctional family, stoic guardians, uninvolved authorities or parents who has unrealistic pressures with their clothes, grades or friends. I for one grew up with an imperfect family.  And this made me think that DISCIPLINE or CORRECTION is a form of REJECTION. This maybe a reason why correcting younger people or people with unhealthy family backgrounds find it hard to be disciplined. And sometimes, the way we view and respond to discipline or correction in our earthly relationships is the way we view and respond to God when he disciplines us.

When someone corrects us we tend to rebel, become bitter, hate the person, reason ourselves away or simply detach and leave. But that is not how it should be!  The bible tells in Hebrews 12:5-8

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Being corrected or disciplined doesn’t necessarily mean you are rejected and unloved, rather it means you are wrong and you need to be right because you are loved and valued. God sees us this way and is aware that discipline is not pleasant. Sin is not pleasant, but to let a wrong thing grow is unloving. Love is always for the best of the person, not for his or her happiness. Sometimes the road to being happy is being right, being holy.

Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:9-11)

So what do we do when we receive discipline or correction?

1) Acknowledge the reason why and the pain. Don’t run away. Running away is like walking out of a hospital even though you still have a gushing gun shot wound. Don’t leave the treatment. Face it. Yes it should be painful.

2) Check your heart and examine your ways, don’t think that you are always the victim, ask God to reveal secret things in our hearts that lead us away from him.

3) Remind yourself of the Gospel, that your sin is not a surprise to God, but he chose to love you anyway by dealing it now. Your discipline doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, rather it is his love that disciplines you.

4) Repent. Every sin is a sin first and foremost to God and the road to restoration is first done in our relationship with God.

5) Abide and act. Submit to the correction, do what you need to do to fix things.